lets just get that out there...

i feel like a lot of the time when i listen to people talk, as they move their lips to spit out some bullshit i could give a 2xfuckless about, i can't help but have the voice inside my head mutter constantly "do you fucking hear yourself? i mean honestly? get over yourself."
people that look at the world like "if i don't have goals, i'll have nothing to be disappointed by," big thumbs up to you, i'm glad that you strive for the top shelf in life. because when i look at you in my world i think like "you are a waste of space and a contaminating my air you poisoning insect." live for something.
nothing in this world is fair, i've come to terms with a long time ago. so i'm alright with a lot of things, its easier that way.
last night me and parker sat at the bar for 5 hours while nate played poker, and as the number of drinks got higher, the topic of conversation got deeper. explaining the positive and negative perspectives of life and how they're all just bullshit. and how one can't live without the other, its weird how the world can only funtion off of 2 sides, because without the other, the first would not have anything to play off of and the nutural "middle" would not exist. there always has to be a good and bad, because good can't exist without bad, because then what would make good "good"? then what the fuck is middle ground? nutrual would have never made it into the dictionary. you can't have passion without controversy, becuase then whats the fucking point of anything. passion is controversy, we can all thank "free choice" for that and blah blah blah blah we were talking about these super controversial topics. i think it all (of course) sounded extreamly more inteligent as we were slamming the pint glasses on the bar, but there is a science to the madness. just reminds me that my brain hasn't exactly shriveled into baby chronic nug yet. THANK FUCKING GOD.
i also believe i should have been on debate team in high school and showed up smashed every debate, because i would have killed some prep school ass. mostly due to the known fact that whenever i get wasted, i am 100% correct on every topic brought up in conversation and if i start to fumble, i will create the best and most convincing lie with every base covered to brain wash you into thinking i created God himself. its a gift.

i also got a very "really?... really?" number show up on my caller ID while hittin the bar hard. i don't believe in unexpected anymore, everything is unexpected, and if thats so, than it's really all just expected anyways.

ha ha ha, wrap your head around that one facefuck.

hmm, one month ago.
see you in 7 days.

for the "hardcore" rafting experience

floating the owen's is a staple of the inyo area. if you got the day off and you're alright with getting wasted in a river with the ever so often dead calf floating down stream, you know how to party. we, know how to party. thank god for the majority of everyone i know either not working or having the same days off (don't know how that worked out, its like the town shuts down while the locals start their 2 day binges). either way, tomorrow we're all heading to K-MART (oh yeh, it really is THAT big of a deal) and picking up the following:

to be honest, this might be one of the best inventions ever, mostly because not only does it have the very necessary cup holders, but even more necessary area to place one's food, which is always my priority.

really? no one's thought of this before? i don't understand why back in like columbus' day, they didn't think smart and build one of these fine beasts to cruz up to america's shore on, fashionably and comfortably. fucking A you have a fucking floating cooler. cool columbus, way to kick it up a notch, lazy asshole.

and then here's me.
duly noted should be that this fine contraption is made of only the finest of beverages and saving the ecosystem one can at a time. act like you thought of the same thing... liar.
anyways, aside from the mosquito bites, our interlocking arms and legs while floating down the river should mark for a good day. we're building muchacho his very own raft, so he too can participate. we also will be making a raft for the beer coolers, which also must participate. ahhhhhhhh, life's hard.



another note:

back up on hypebeast & kix-files dogggggggggg:

what you know bout that purp? thought so.


talkin bout some fresh catch...


TMNT "donatello" i know like 3 heads that'd trip over this. whats the deallll, where's the "april" edition. bitch was legit.


ferris bueller


and my fav because they just as obnoxious as i, the thrashin'


also apparently they're comin out with "the nike sixer" which is a combo of beer inspired dunks. they already came out with new castle brown ale heineken, pabst blue ribbon angus,and on their way: mickey's malt liquor dunk hi, dos equis. i need to get up on those PBR kicks for sure.


that's it for now, i mean, i ammmm "working."
pft.

spanish for buddy

i've had a dog since day one of being forced into this world. i grew up around big dogs, breed them, got small ones, blah blah blah blah blah dogs/puppies/mutts/strays/family. i love dogs, i love animals. i religiously watch animal planet in hopes of vicariously living through the ASPCA. i used to want to be a vet, when i was in 5th grade i did a fucking report on it and had a panic attack because i couldn't decide if i wanted to be a small or large animal doctor. so after i threw a fit, i threw the idea out, and decided to stick with dogs, or any animal i saw and could take home. mostly, dogs. since i moved up here, the most dog friendly area i've been to in awhile, i have yet to have the companionship of having my own dog seeing as though when i first moved i was unable to have pets in my apartment which meant my pooches were stuck back in LA. my sole drive in getting my own house was being able to have an accomplice in crime and snuggle buddy who'd be outdoors-ie with me. this is the first time in 22 years i haven't had my companion by my side, i feel like the biggest loser for saying it, but i had no idea what it was like to NOT have a dog. shits wack attack. so i've been on the prowl stalking the internet for puppies like an obsessed middle schooler over leonardo dicaprio (shit i duno, i'm so not "with it" on what 11 year old girls are swooning over these days, that was like "my time" ahahahahha, wow, i'm not that old). after weeks of deliberation and sorting, i found my options and was ready for the chosen one that i'd smoother to death with love and kisses. in talking to our realtor about the house me and the boys moved into, she put a firm foot down saying no more dogs in the house after the last one left. i was heartbroken. it was like i was just told that my ovaries couldn't produce eggs or some shit, it sucked. so, here i am, once again in bullshitville wondering where i can get cuddly posters of puppies, kittens and ducks. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BULLSHIT.
so last night, after my tormenting day at work, i retire back home to for once (and is never) an empty house to watch some ESPN highlights, when my room mates girlfriend walks in with a fluff ball strapped to her chest. she says "want a dog?" i laughed like HA HA who's dog are you sitting? (cos thats like THE thing up here, fuck your kids, we dog sit) shes all "no really, want a dog?" i get up and grab him, and say "yes." it was like a beam of light was blinding my eyes and i got a fucking puppy in my lap who followed me around like i was Jesus. cutest little thing, as frankie would say. he had to be mine, i talked to the boys, some serious talking, and said if a puppy would make me stay i could keep the puppy (even though it was not the puppy i truly wanted). like i was asking my parents? FUCKING A, i'm like the mom of the house anyways, fuck yeah i'ma keep this bad ass bitch, hes got freckles on his snout!! hes a golden/peak mix, motherfucker will be larger than life. so,... i named him muchacho, much for short. he doesn't fuss or shit, dog's legit, follows me around, loves everyone and at 7 weeks old, manages to shit outside unlike the almost YEAR OLD dog we had that would shit every 3 minutes in the house and bite everyone. it was parker's birthday and the dog was mellow as hell with a full house and kicked it on everyones lap while we got rowdy drinking. he slept in my arms all night and didn't wake me up once til i took him out when i got up. TELL ME THAT ISN'T THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. thanx. plus i hada cuddlefest finally. adorable, its like cuteoverload.com.
so now im stuck in this, both hands in the air weigh shit out game. i'm leaving for DC in 10 days, going back to NZ this summer, working my ass off ang going back to school. is it fair to this cupcake puddum that i can't shower it with all the love and attention i'd love to devote to it? no. so the question remains, nate says "a golden doesn't fit you" which is true, but he needs a home, and hes just SOEWOWOWO cute, i'd throw him in my purse and take him everywhere til i couldn't. which will be in like a month ahahaa. either way, i got a dog until i figure it out.

hot rod

i could possibly give you the best synopsis of your life of the underrated/underhyped movie "HOT ROD"...
or you could do 2 of the following:
A) watch the clip

B) or go fucking rent it already...

i cannot believe i listened to some "the notebook" loving douche bag about not going to see this newly coveted classic and further more trying to stop my inquiring mind from renting it later on. weird how you hold on to a snippit of what someone says as refrence... even weirded, i listened. a total lack of judgement call on my part, and i'm paying the price by not knowing the brilliance of this oscar performance sooner. theres a first and last time for everything, give me a fucking break.


in more unrewarding news, after recovering from no sleep in 48 hours and extream stress attacks, i'm ready to party. i've been drinkin green tea all day, and i'm ready to rack up my entire kitchen table with cups and play the most xtream and unrulely game of "beer pong" any undergrad UCSB student would not dare to match.